


I'll Pull The Strength of Suns

by phandomestic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 Phan, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barebacking, Hand Jobs, I dont know how to tag, M/M, Rimming, allusions to alcohol and the vday vid, i never know how to tag rip, there that sums it up, this was probs more emotional in my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 09:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6001125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phandomestic/pseuds/phandomestic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not even the events of 2012 can bar the unrivaled passion between Dan and Phil</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Pull The Strength of Suns

**Author's Note:**

> This is my phandom valentines gift for the-sky-whale on tumblr, with the request of something angst that turns fluffy (even tho this is technically like 30% angst 60% smut and 10% fluff heh). Songs that inspired me to write this was It’s All Coming Back To Me by Celine Dion (but i listened to the Jeremy Jordan cover of it u should to) and Entanglement by Imogen Heap which i highly recommend u check out for the feelz. I hope you have as much fun reading as i did writing! enjoy~

_But when you touch me like this_  
_And you hold me like that_  
 _I just have to admit_  
 _That it’s all coming back to me_

* * *

 

Dan knew the consequences of staring at the sun for too long. He burns. But even with the knowledge, he finds it nearly impossible to tear his eyes away. This opportunity isn’t granted to him very often anymore these days, when Phil makes it his personal mission to avoid Dan entirely and never remain in the same room as him for more than a minute each time. Moments like these when they had to play cordial in the workplace, smiling and laughing, making jokes for listeners and viewers tuning into Radio 1 -- it’s as if, for these two hours, nothing has changed, and things between them are as they’ve always been.

His eyes followed Phil’s movements, the way his lips quirk slightly when he’s concentrating, this time because he’s adjusting the settings on the soundboard and looking at his laptop. Dan ignored the twinge of sadness from staring at what he could no longer have. He had to. Phil looked up. Dan quickly looked away. The moment fled just as soon as it came. They proceeded with the radio show. Dan sighed once it was over, however just as clueless to Phil’s lingering glances throughout.

Phil knew the consequences, too. He was just too stubborn to admit he was suffering as much as Dan. Why would he? Dan was the one who wrongly placed the blame on him for the v day video leak, the one who consequently assumed it was purposeful. They could count the ways they’ve strayed from the Dan and Phil of the past, but thinking of the specifics was an unbearable feat. It hurt too much to think of how far they’ve drifted.

Of course, there were other moments when Phil didn’t immediately leave and give Dan the silent treatment. Like when they filmed Youtube videos together, were making breakfast in the kitchen at the same time, or Dan’s favorite: sharing the television in the lounge so they could watch anime together. It was an excuse for Dan to be in the same vicinity, or perhaps pay attention to one thing only (hint: it _wasn’t_ the anime). They didn’t completely hate each other, but they were far from good terms. Sometimes Dan wondered if it would be less painful if they stopped interacting altogether.

With Phil being so fucking perfect all the time, it didn’t take long for Dan to forget why he was mad in the first place. Everything Phil did still held Dan’s attention like a moth to a flame -- and it was maddening. He so badly wanted to let it go, and of the way his heart could burst just by staring and wishing they could fix this, but he couldn’t allow himself to think with such naiveté.

One time, it even got so bad that he had to leave. (That is, after he erupted at Phil, angry at how he could effortlessly make Dan into the same giddy boy with a crush from years ago, because Phil didn’t need to try to keep Dan around, because Phil was everything to him and not even this fight between them could make him forget it.)

Dan ended up stumbling through the streets of London tipsy and miserable that night, the thought of Phil the loudest thought of all. He ended up sitting on a street bench, letting memories of Phil and their times together in Manchester swirl in his head. _Fuck, we were so happy. We were so good and perfect and right_. This, whatever it was, it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Phil. He missed Phil. So much. Dan’s head sunk into his hands. He could feel the moisture collecting and spilling uninhibited.

 

* * *

 

 

“Dan? Dan? Are you alright? _Dan_!” Phil shook the mentioned and he finally snapped out of his trance, eyes catching the look concern on his ex’s face. He had walked into the lounge, practically dragging his feet along to plop down next to Phil on the couch. His eyes were unfocused and glazed, an emotionless and unsettling sight for Phil to see.

There was a long moment of silence and staring and neither being able to break eye contact. Of all the times both men have looked at each other, this was the first look in months that felt different, familiar. 

At some undeterminable point in time, Dan’s vision had gone blurry. He couldn’t see Phil clearly through his tears. It took Dan a moment to realize Phil’s eyes weren’t dry either.

“Do you ever feel like it’s never too late?” Phil whispered. He’d gotten closer, so close Dan’s breath got caught in his throat. Phil glanced down at his lips and it felt like time stopped.

“Can I--” Phil started, voice soft in a whisper.

Something ignited within Dan, something uncertain but true. He closed what little space was left between them and placed a soft, hesitant kiss on Phil’s lips. He was gentle, felt Phil’s hand sliding up to the nape of his neck to deepen the kiss and _oh_ , that was familiar. His fingers curled into the fabric of Phil’s shirt, refusing to let go once he finally had him again.

The memories began to flood back; the first skype session, meeting in person, their first kiss on the wheel, all the sky kisses in Manchester -- just like this. It felt just like this.

Dan broke away for a moment, forehead still leaning against Phil’s. “Is this okay?”

Phil responded with another soft peck.

“Can we do this again?”

Dan bumped his nose lightly against Phil’s and smiled. “I missed this. I missed you.”

Phil sat up and pulled Dan close to him, connecting their lips but this time, more certain. It was tender but tinged with want and need. He giggled as he stood, grabbed Dan by the arms to a standing position, only to kiss their way to Dan’s bedroom. What Phil really wanted right now was Dan. He, too, missed this, what they had, and especially their contact. He laid the younger man down gently once they entered the dimly lit room, wanting to rediscover his boyfriend all over again.

Dan’s mind was fuzzy and he felt warm, numb and completely sensitive to everything Phil was doing to him. Phil’s body was pressed over his and he moaned once he felt Phil lightly kiss down his neck. He tipped his head back to allow for more access, a mewl of pleasure escaping his mouth. 

They sat upright and Dan pulled his shirt over his head, sighing once Phil’s lips reconnected to Dan’s collarbones. His fingers moved to the nape of Phil’s neck to tug at the black strands and Phil moved back up to slosh their lips together. Dan’s breathing slowed, enjoying the sensation of Phil’s fingers gently running down every centimeter of his skin. 

“I’m gonna take care of you,” Phil murmured before he removed his own shirt. Their eyes locked as Phil slowly rolled his hips and Dan released a breathy moan at the contact. 

“Clothes... off. Please, I need you,” Dan husked as he moved to remove his tight jeans and briefs. Phil removed his own while his right hand began to palm at Dan’s member slowly. Dan whined, his hips grinding against the touch and Phil took a moment to focus on his reactions. It was incredibly hot and he smiled, loving to watch Dan fall apart beneath him.

Phil resumed his sucking above Dan’s collarbone and reached over to the bedside drawer to pull out the bottle of lube. Dan suddenly sat up and poured some lube in his hands, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips

“Here, lemme help,” he said before his fingers wrapped around Phil’s cock, stroking and feeling his own harden at the whine that emitted from his lips.

“F-Fu-ck, just like that,” Phil groaned, eyes shut tight and succumbing to the sensation. Dan’s cheeks flushed and he poured some more lube before continuing his ministrations. He flipped the fringe out of his eyes and Phil breathed deeply, stopping Dan because he didn’t want to come just yet.

“Turn over for me?,” Phil asked gently. Dan did as he was told, his ass raised in full view. “You’re perfect,” he exhaled, then starting kisses from the nape of Dan’s neck. He could feel the other man shiver as he kissed down his spine and stopped at the curve of his ass.

Phil used his fingers, one at a time, to stretch Dan open. Dan inhaled sharply at the sudden wet sensation, and could feel the barely-there kitten licks at his hole. His back arched and whined, biting his lips and feeling his eyes roll to the back of his head at the pleasure he was feeling. “Fuck, don’t stop.”

Phil continued with his broad licks, tongue pressed deep into the ridged flesh. He licked upwards and began to add his finger to massage the soft muscle, adding another finger and scissoring them to stretch him as much as he could.

Dan was panting now, eyes glazed and needy. Phil could see it in his expression, could hear Dan’s moans break the silence in the room.  The temperature was thick and hot and combined with the heat of the moment and the nerves rising, his cheeks were flushed as he turned Dan to face him again. 

The two men laid there, looking at each other. Phil ran his thumb against Dan’s reddened cheeks. They both inhaled and exhaled, their breathing becoming one. Phil squirted one more pump of lube onto his cock before he hovered over Dan, waiting for confirmation that he was ready.

“I love you,” Dan nodded and his mouth fell open at the intrusion. He exhaled slowly and tried to focus on his breathing, nodding again for Phil to push in more. He shifted his hips and rocked against Phil, his skin feeling hot. He could feel his heart thumping quick in his chest, pleasure enveloping him as Phil thrusted deeper.

They both moaned softly and watched as the other’s pupil’s dilated. Phil moved slow at first, smiling and brushing Dan’s fringe out of his face. They reveled in the moment, one of passion and remembrance. This was more than just an ‘I love you’. It was an ‘I missed you’, ‘can we start over?’, and ‘can you forgive me?’ all at once. There were no other words said between them. The past was in the past and will remain there.

“Never ignore me like that again,” Dan managed to croak through his mewling, and Phil could only nod in response.

“Promise,” he said, then angling his hips to hit Dan’s prostrate. He continued to move rather slow, dragging it out, watching Dan’s and the littles expressions he made. His hand slid around to stroke the head of Dan’s cock, still thrusting deeply into him and building in pace and rhythm.

“Fuck, Ph- I’m close. Please I’m g-gonna-”

“Come for me, Dan.”

And that was all it took for him to explode, toes curling, hands clutched tightly on Phil’s shoulders. His orgasm came in waves, shooting onto his stomach. The sensation of Dan’s heat around him paired with watching Dan come was enough to send Phil over the edge as well.

Phil helped clean up and threw the tissues in the bin, joining a tired but relieved Dan on his bed.

“I kept thinking you were never gonna talk to me again,” Dan said. “I mean, we talked it just wasn’t the same.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil frowned.

“No, it wasn’t just you. I’m sorry, too,” Dan apologized, kissing him.

“So?” Phil began, nudging his head into the crook of Dan’s neck once they pulled away. Now it was his turn to be the little spoon. “Do you ever feel like it’s never too late?”

Dan looked down at him and beamed.

“With you?” He nuzzled his nose against Phil’s and shut his eyes with a sigh. “Always.


End file.
